i’d sure like to know, if y’all have some tips.

i feel like it has been long enough (3 1/2 years) that this shouldn’t be happening!! i want some control over my damn mind and body, already. it isn’t that my boyfriend is pressuring me. i’m just as up for it as he is. but i start to have my old panic attack symptoms when penetration starts, so we stop, i go home and punch stuff, and he feels awful.

the only way i have managed to have consensual sex, is once, i drank 6 beers. i hardly remember anything. my boyfriend felt really bad about it and didn’t want to try anything for a few weeks. (i quit drinking in august.)

but i am determined to have control over my body and have some damn sex if i want to.

is there anyone here who has actually has a good sex life now? how did you do it? did it get better with time?